I Wonder… — February 14, 2016

I Wonder…

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Do you ever just wonder?  Wonder about life, about people, about yourself, about anything?  I believe as humans, it’s natural for us to wonder about things, especially girls in particular.  My mind is constantly running and half of the time I’m wondering.  Mostly about random things, but it’s just simple curiosity.  I believe you should never have any regrets in life, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t reevaluate a situation to see if maybe had you done something differently or someone else had, if there would have been a different outcome.  Here are a few things I wonder about…

What if… ?
I hadn’t left school to do online classes
I didn’t have any siblings
I had a boyfriend
I had a different job
I had gone to college
I had a baby
I had moved out already
I had more friends
We had stayed in Connecticut instead of moving to New Hampshire when I was young
We had moved somewhere else
I had played sports in school
I had a different body type
I had a different personality
I hadn’t lost my grandfather
I had a special talent
My parents had never met
I was more outgoing
I hadn’t lost my virginity to the guy I did
I had different work ethics
My mom had a job
My parents weren’t still married
I had never been the victim of a robbery and now struggle with PTSD
I had gone to the doctors more as an adult
I had more money, or less money
I didn’t have anyone to count on
My dad hadn’t supported me my whole life
I had a kept the relationship with my oldest sister
I hadn’t grown apart from my dad’s family
I had never experienced New England weather
I had more trust in people
I believed in a religion
There was no such thing as music
I didn’t have the relationship with my siblings that I do
We had never gone through the disconnect with my brother
My brother had never gotten a girl pregnant
Guys found me more attractive
I had been more popular growing up
I hadn’t lost one of my best friends
I was born in a different time
I didn’t get homesick
I hadn’t been a rotten child
I was happier…

You certainly can’t dwell on the what ifs, but sometimes it’s fun to see what your imagination can do.  To see where your mind takes you.  To see what possibilities are out there.  I am very grateful to have the life that I do and at the end of the day I am very proud to be who and where I am today.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I wouldn’t change a thing, because it has made me who I am.  Once in awhile, do yourself a favor and play around with your imagination.  Wonder about something, anything.  Do you think you would be happier today if something had been different?  Do you think your life would be worse had something been different?  Curiosity is good for you.  But remember to always be thankful for what you have, no matter what.  If you didn’t have what you do, you wouldn’t be who you are and you should always be proud to be you.

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Dancing in the Sky — February 6, 2016

Dancing in the Sky

“Dancing In The Sky”

Tell me what does it look like in heaven
Is it peaceful? Is free like they say?
Does the sun shine bright forever
Have your fears and your pain gone away

‘Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left
And here on earth everything’s different, there’s an emptiness

Oh-oh, I,
I hope you’re dancing in the sky
I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir
I hope the angels know what they have
I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived

So tell me, what do you do up in heaven
Are your days filled with love and light
Is there music? Is there art and invention?
Tell me are you happy? Are you more alive?

‘Cause here on earth it feels like everything good is missing since you left
And here on earth everything’s different, there’s an emptiness

Oh-oh, I,
I hope you’re dancing in the sky
And I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir
And I hope the angels know what they have
I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived

I hope you’re dancing in the sky
And I hope you’re singing in the angel’s choir
And I hope the angels know what they have
I’ll bet it’s so nice up in heaven since you arrived
Since you arrived

These lyrics speak volumes to me.  I have lost a lot of loved ones in my life and I have had a few very rough ones.  Losing people that you’re very close with puts a hole in your heart that will never be filled again.  It eventually gets easier with time, but that wound never heals.  Listening to this song brings a bit of peace to the mind.  I am not a religious person by any means, but I do believe in souls and I do believe they go somewhere after they leave the physical body.  Where I don’t know.  I believe they stay with us throughout our life, watching over us and guiding us.  I lost my Papa when I was 14.  He was my best friend.  It broke my heart and I didn’t think I would survive this loss.  I know he guided me through my grief and recovery.  I believe today that he watches over me.  He has made a huge impression on my life from when he was alive and after he passed.  I will forever carry his heart and soul with me.  I miss him every single day, but I know that he is with me and for that I will forever be grateful.
Happy February! — February 1, 2016

Happy February!

Attitude is everything, new day, new strength, new thoughts. #wisdom #affirmations #attitude:

Happy February!  Each day is a fresh beginning, a new start, but somehow we forget about that until the 1st of each month.  As we see a new month begin, we see a chapter ending and a new one beginning.  This is wonderful and inspiring.  But we must not forget that each morning is also a new beginning.  You don’t have to wait until the 1st to begin a new chapter or make a change.  All you have is right now, today.  There is no better time than now.  If you see it that way, you will gain all the ambition you need to make your tomorrow a better one.  Start today, start now.  Change your attitude to a positive one.  Wake up with a dream and strive for it.  Find your strength and take advantage of it.  What will you do with this new day?

Patience — January 28, 2016

Patience

Lately as I look around at the people I am surrounded with everyday, I notice that everyone is in a rush.  They are counting down until the end of the day, the end of the week, until they accomplish this goal or that goal, get out of school, have kids, get married, but a house, take this vacation, go to this event.

SLOW DOWN PEOPLE!!!

Why are you in such a hurry to get through life?  You only have one.  One shot.  Enjoy it while you have it.  Stop wishing all of your time away.  I am infamous for watching that clock during the week waiting for 5:00 so I can go home.  Dreading 9:00 Sunday night not wanting to go back to work on Monday morning.  Lately I have realized how fast I have grown up and it kind of scares me.  Watching a child grow since a baby is a huge eye opener!  Before you know it they have given up diapers and bottles and traded them in for a bicycle and backpack.  What?!  Stop and smell the roses.. seriously!  Enjoy the little things in life.  Yes we all have bad days but look for any positivity you can find in everyday and cherish the time you have here because before you know it, you will be 80 wondering where your life went.

Single Girl’s Inspiration — January 26, 2016

Single Girl’s Inspiration

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I have been single for quite some time now.  I may tend to view it as not by choice, however I tend to have high standards, so in reality it kind of is.  It’s hard to find the right guy and not waste your time on guys you know aren’t right for you.  It’s scary to start a relationship in fear of not getting hurt.  It’s also hard to go to bed alone every night, not have someone to share your life with, wanting to start a family but you can’t do it on your own.  Pros and cons to each situation and this is no exception.  Most days I am completely fine with being single, knowing I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve and being okay patiently waiting for it.  Some days, it’s really hard knowing you’re alone.  Recently, I have fallen into one of those funks where I’m struggling with being single.  I decided to sift through my Pinterest board “Single Living” and dig up some inspiration to share with you and to motivate me to see the positives in being “alone.”  Being a girl, I’ve related mostly to the guy directed quotes, however whether you’re a guy or a girl, these still pertain to all of us.  I hope you can find something helpful from these 52 quotes and to know that you certainly are not alone.

*Here’s to the girls who love someone that doesn’t love them.  The hopeless romantics and the daydreamers.  The girls that fall and get hurt, but still stand up smiling.  The girls that don’t catch everyone’s attention at first.  Here’s to the girls that will someday find that happy ending they dream about.

*Don’t chase these boys.  Don’t depend on anybody.  Do your thing. – Nicki Minaj

*Who needs a man when you have a body pillow?
(seriously, invest in one if you don’t already have one.  I did and I LOVE it!!!)

*If I’m not with somebody who really excites me or inspires me, then I’d rather be by myself.

*Why being single is so great:
-You can eat whatever you want.
-You get the whole bed.
-You don’t have to make an effort.
-You don’t have to worry about hurting.
-You don’t have to buy Valentine’s Day crap.
-You have freedom, to choose.
-No having to tell someone where you are.
-You have complete control.
-You can experiment with who you are and what you like.
-You can do what you want, when you want.
-You have the chance to bond with friends.
-Loneliness hurts less.

*I’m single and it’s staying like that until I meet someone worth the try.

*It’s OKAY to be alone.

*If you cannot find a good companion to walk with, walk alone, like an elephant roaming the jungle.  It is better to be alone than to be with those who will hinder your progress. – Buddha

*Being single is getting over the illusion that there is somebody out there to complete you and taking charge of your own life. – Omkar Phatack

*It takes a strong person to remain single in a world that is accustomed to settling with anything, just to say they have something.

*And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy.  Maybe it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over.  Freeing yourself up for something better in the future.  Maybe the happy ending is just moving on.

*I’m single because I’m strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.

*The next time you check the box “S” for single, remember this: singleness is no longer a lack of options but a choice.  A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status and live everyday happily and let your ever after work itself out.  Whether or not you have someone in your passenger seat, you are still the driver of your own life and can take whatever road you choose.  So next time you hit a speed bump, otherwise known as the age-old question “Why are you still single?” look em in the eye and say “Because I’m too strong, too smart, and too fabulous to settle.” – Mandy Hale

*She’s single, not because she can’t find a man, but because she’s waiting for the right man to come along and make her feel so secure in the relationship that loving him just comes natural and easy.

*If you’re single, don’t worry about finding someone.  Instead, enjoy yourself.  Eat good food.  Travel to neat places.  Laugh with people you have nothing in common with.  Do whatever makes you happiest.  You are not in need of an “other half.”  You are already whole.  If you meet someone, then you will still be whole.  Tell yourself you are wonderful.  Don’t hang out with anyone who makes you feel like you’re not.  You don’t need anyone to be happy.  Focus on yourself and everything else will eventually fall into place.

*Yes, I’m alone, but I’m alone and free. – Elsa, Frozen

*I don’t need prince charming to have my own happy ending. – Katy Perry

*I might not be someone’s first choice, but I am a great choice.  I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not, because I’m good at being me.  I might not be proud of some of the things I’ve done in the past, but I’m proud of who I am today.  I may not be perfect, but I don’t need to be.  Take me as I am or watch me as I walk away.

*I’m not a one in a million kind of a girl.  I’m a once in a lifetime kind of woman.

*I’m not going to cry over him, because that’s what he wants.  I’m gonna keep my head up, smile and show that motherfucker what he’s missing.

*Time waits for no man.  Neither does a good woman.

*Don’t be the girl who needs a man.  Be the girl a man needs.

*Choosing to be single isn’t selfish.  It’s smarter to be alone than with the wrong person.

*I’m free to sing, dance, laugh out loud, do house chores whenever, read when I want to, go to bed late, talk to whomever, go out whenever and do whatever!

*Appreciate being single because that’s when you grow the most and with growth, you come to know what you’re looking for. – Daniel Goddard

*Use the opportunity of being single to love yourself and focus on making you a better person.

*If you’re single, focus on a better you instead of looking for someone better than your ex.  A better you will attract a better next.

*A strong woman builds her own world.  She is one who is wise enough to know that it will attract the man she will gladly share it with. – Ellen J. Barrier

*Money only impresses lazy girls.  When a woman works hard, a man with money is a bonus, not a ladder to upgrade.

*He’s going to be sorry he lost you, so stop worrying.  Forget the past, forget the pain, and remember what an incredible woman you are.

*Being single means you’re taking your tie deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.

*Cheer up, sweet, beautiful girl.  You are going to be in love again and it will be magnificent.

*Until you get comfortable with being alone, you will never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness.

*Enjoy your own company!

*Single doesn’t mean you don’t know anything about love.  It just means you know enough to wait for it.

*Love is not something you go out and look for.  Love finds you and when it does, ready or not, it will be the best thing to ever happen to you.

*Don’t rely on a prince.  Save yourself!

*I like being single.  I’m always there when I need me.

*It’s better to be single with high standards than in a relationship settling for less.

*Strong. Independent. Noticeable. Generous. Loving. Enlightened.  S.I.N.G.L.E.

*I recommend to all my friends that they be alone for awhile.  When you spend a few years being who you are, completely unbiased, you can figure out what you actually want. – Taylor Swift

*Single is an opportunity to live life on your own terms and not apologize. – Mandy Hale

*Too many girls rush into relationships because of the fear of being single, then start making compromises and losing their identity.  Don’t do that. – Katy Perry.

*Just because you don’t have a prince, doesn’t mean you’re not a princess.

*The smarter the woman is, the more difficult it is to find the right man.

*Don’t find love, let love find you.  That’s why it’s called falling in love, because you don’t force yourself, you just fall.

*Date yourself.  Take yourself out to eat.  Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone.  Stroll around an art museum alone.  Fall in love with canvases.  Fall in love with yourself.

*The smartest thing a woman can ever learn, is the never need a man.

*Stay single until someone actually compliments your life in a way that makes it better not to be single.  If not, it’s not worth it.

*Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be sad.

*She’s single because she refuses to change her relationship status for someone who falls short for what she deserves.  Knowing her self value, she’s chosen to preserve a spot in her heart for a real man, someone mature enough to understand that loyalty, commitment and honesty is a priority, not an option.

*Single doesn’t always mean lonely.  Relationship doesn’t always mean happy.

 

I hope somewhere in here, you found something that really spoke to you.  Even if you are in a relationship, maybe you realize you’re not happy and though you’ve been too scared to end it in fear of being alone, you now realize that it’s okay.  You will be okay.  Just because we’re single, does not mean we don’t have anything going for us.  We are never alone in our journey, whether it’s family or friends or coworkers.. or even strangers, someone else is usually going through or has gone through what you are going through.  You just need to know where to look for guidance.  I find a lot of my guidance simply through inspirational quotes like the ones above.  I hope you were able to as well.

Embrace being single!

 

For more inspirational quotes, check out my Pinterest page and follow some of my boards.

Good Morning.. it’s Friday! — January 22, 2016

Good Morning.. it’s Friday!

“Happy Friday” indeed! Beautiful type by the talented @anthon...:

Happy Friday my friends!  Finally, right?!  Being a banker, we had Monday off in observance of Martin Luther King Day.  Yet it seems to always be the shorter weeks that tend to feel like they drag on and on and on.  Until BAM!  It’s Friday!  And you find yourself super excited to start the day because in just 8 hours, you will be done with your responsibilities for the week.  You can relax and enjoy your time doing whatever your heart desires.  You don’t have to set an alarm for the next day!  With my internal alarm clock, I don’t know what sleeping in is anymore, however it’s so nice to crawl into bed the night before knowing you won’t hear that annoying beeping sound promptly at 6:00 that gives you a mini heart attack and forces you out of bed.  You can lay there as long as you want.  What a feeling!  I don’t usually make plans for the weekend.  It’s kind of a go with the flow for me.  This weekend, however, I have been invited to attend my sister’s work holiday party.  I have been her “date” for the past 5 years.  It’s usually a good time.  Now that the holidays are over with, people can actually enjoy themselves.  There’s always drama of course, but because I don’t work with them everyday, it’s not my drama.  Here’s to a weekend of dancing and laughter with friends!  Let’s just hope this predicted snow storm doesn’t hit us in the middle of the event!

If you don’t have any plans for the weekend and you’re looking for something to do, here are a few suggestions:
– Go to the movies.  Find a comedy and laugh your butt off!  No better time than when you’re laughing!
– Plan a game night with family and friends.  Mad Gab is always fun!
– Binge watch a Netflix series.  I just finished Making a Murderer.  Mind blowing!
– Go for a hike.  If we get snow, try snowshoeing.
– Try a new recipe.  Bacon wrapped water chestnuts have been a new favorite in my house.
– Do a crossword puzzle.  Get your brain some exercise.
– Take a nap!!  This one is my favorite!
– Color.  The adult coloring books have become a new addiction of mine.
– Curl up in a blanket on the couch with some coffee and a good book.
– Rearrange a room in your house.  Change is always nice.
– Go shopping.  Even if it’s just window shopping.
– Get rid of things in your house that you don’t use anymore.  Sift through your closet.  Go through your attic or garage.  Donate any items that you can.
– Go out to dinner with an old friend.

Simply enjoy yourself this weekend.  You deserve it!

Positive Vibes — January 21, 2016

Positive Vibes

On January 1, 2016, I decided to do something everyday, that so far has changed me for the better.  Since I love to write and after battling with depression for awhile, I wanted some positive vibes in my life.  I decided to start a daily journal.  In this journal, everyday, I write.  I have two main focuses.  Since I am addicted to Pinterest and have over 500 pins on my board titled “Inspirational Words” I decided to put them to use.  I find one of the pins and I post it in the entry.  Below it, I describe what that quote or saying means to me.  How I interpret it to my life.  What I gain from it.  At the bottom, each day I write a small piece about what I’m thankful for.  I either simply state what it is and leave it at that, or I add something to it as to why I’m thankful for that.  Below is today’s journal entry.  I challenge you to see the positive in everyday.  I promise you that it is out there.  Don’t get me wrong, we all have bad days.  But at the end of the day, as you’re crawling under the covers ready to fall asleep before starting a new day, think about one thing positive that came out of your day and one thing that you’re grateful for.  It can be ANYTHING!  I am a true believer in appreciating the small things such as someone making you laugh, or the fact that you didn’t spill your coffee on your way to work, or the beautiful painting my sister made for me and all of the effort she put into it, or having comfortable pajamas to wear, or that you got to pet a cute puppy, or that your car started without any hesitation in the blistering cold weather.  It can be anything!  It has made me look at each day in a new light and it’s only day 21.  I can only imagine how I’ll be feeling come December 31!  Try it for yourself and let me know what kind of difference it makes in your life!

 

Your speed doesn't matter, forward is forward:
There is no reverse in life.  Forward is the only way to go.  If you’re not going forward, you’re not following your dream.  What’s the point of doing anything if you’re not following your dream?  If you’re not trying to achieve happiness?  That is the goal in life.  If you are not chasing either of those, then you’re not trying to live a great life.  No one wants to look back on life and think “what if?”  You’re in the driver’s seat of your life.  You have the power to hit the gas or brake and steer in whichever direction you want to head.  There are no red lights or speed limits or detours.  Wake up, get behind that wheel and put the pedal to the floor.  If you’re too afraid to put it in drive, you will never get anywhere.  You only have control over today.  There’s no waiting until tomorrow.  There are no excuses.  Decide today to take the car out of park and start driving.  I promise that you won’t regret that you did.  Live the life you’re dreaming of.  No one can stop you.  At the end of the day, your destination should be at the hood of your car, not out of sight.

Today, I am thankful for whoopie pies!  The little tiny ones from the market down the street are absolutely amazing.  My boss bought them for an afternoon snack and I couldn’t be happier that she did.  I’ve been pretty good about not bringing tons of snacks to eat whenever I get bored, so having those delicious whoopie pies was certainly a treat today!

Introduction — January 20, 2016

Introduction

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Hello.  My name is Tanya.  I’m 25 years old.  I am your typical small town kind of girl.  I’m plain and simple.  There is nothing super special about me, and I am totally fine with that.  I live in a small New Hampshire town with about 5,000 people.  Everybody knows everybody.  I was born in Connecticut and moved here when I was 2.  This town is all I’ve ever known.  This is my home.  I am the middle child of 3.  I have an older sister and a younger brother, however being the shortest, you would think I was the youngest.  I am currently a head teller at one of the local banks.  I have been there almost 4 years. It’s certainly a challenging job, however I am ready for a change.  I love to write, whether it’s about my life and my personal feelings, stories, quotes, helpful advice, or whatever my heart desires.  It is a therapeutic method that I use to release any built up stress or emotions.  It’s a healthy way to get things “off your chest.”  It inspires me.  I’m interested in blogging for that reason.  I’m hoping to just write, about anything!  I’m hoping to inspire people, even if it’s only one person.  Let’s see where it takes me!


 

A few things about me:
-I would rather wear camo and boots than a dress any day.
-I would rather be covered in mud than makeup.
-I’d rather go hunting than shopping.
-I love to write and read.
-Music is my religion.
-I’m 4’10” and done growing, so stop asking me when I’m going to grow.
-I have a sweet tooth.
-I love movies and TV shows.  You can find me glued to Netflix any day of the week.
-I would stay in pajamas all weekend if I had my choice.
-I’m quiet and usually keep to myself.
-I never went through a partying stage and I hate drinking.  Alcohol tastes disgusting.-There is no greater love than love from a dog.  I hate cats.
-I like to color.
-I love Disney and Pixar.
-I drive a Mazda but I am a Chevy girl.
-Turkey hunting is my favorite.
-I’m not big into fishing.
-I hate eggs and mint.
-I am a giver not a taker, a lover not a fighter, a listener not a talker.
-Laughing is my absolute favorite.
-I have a Pinterest addiction.
-Family is my everything.  My siblings are my best friends.
-I have a nephew who is the only boy to hold my whole heart.
-I am currently single and refuse to settle for less than what I feel I deserve.
-I honestly don’t care what people think about me.
-I am dedicated to living a wonderfully happy life.

That’s me, take it or leave it.